Estoy viviendo

To whom it may concern,

Earlier today, as you were digging your grubby hands into my jar of lightly salted cashews, you may or may not have noticed that you just didn’t find them sitting on the counter. Perhaps they were hidden in the back of the cabinet that has all the frying pans for a reason. Oh, I don’t know, maybe I had been saving them so I can have a delicious snack every once in a while? I am on a diet you know, and nuts are good for that. They have lots of protien and lots of other good things with them, and are healthy when you eat them in small portions. You on the other hand, ate the rest of the jar. Did you know that every 1/4th of a cup has 14 grams of fat? I bet you didn’t you fat fuck.

Thanks for eating all of my cashews.

Love, Hannah.