Estoy viviendo

I love Lily Allen

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:54:14 -0500

She’s such a fucking bitch.

Tell me what you know about dreams,

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:25:54 -0500

tell me what you know about night terrors. Nothing.

I don't like how it shows every title I've blogged with in a little drop down bar

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:33:57 -0500

Today was alright. I got my schedule changed so I’ll be leaving after 3rd next semester.

Blah.

Just another day.

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:10:44 -0500

I need to chill out. I need to get my shit straight too.

I don’t want to blog today, I am sad, but I need to get things off my chest and you won’t talk to me so, here goes.

It really sucks when you are in love with someone who doesn’t love you back anymore. Its funny how you can go from being in love and being “together forever” to not even talking at all anymore unless you force a phone call out of them. I’ve done this before, except this time is far worse. I wish you would just talk to me about this, I bring it up when I can but you “have to go” or “why did you say that” or “I don’t know what to tell you”. When I cry, you get mad because “that’s all I do” and “I can’t talk to you without you crying”. If you hadn’t of put me on the back burner for so long I probably wouldn’t be acting like this at all. I think that you should put yourself in my place, I know you’ve felt like this before, but if you’re done with someone you should just tell them. I can’t be friends with you right now, I didn’t even speak to A again until probably a year or more later. We still don’t talk that much now. I told you this would happen, again, and you denied it.

I think it’s safe to say that you’ve inadvertently conveyed to me that things are over, and this makes me sad, and angry, but it’s my fault. So what can I say.

My only hope is that one day you’ll think about me, and your next thought will be “I miss her”

Honestly I’d be surprised if you read this far, or if you even read this at all.

Im watching Pineapple Express

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 23:16:59 -0500

Tonight I am not sad, I do not want to blog though.

I’m going to the doctor soon.

I really hope I’m not crazy.

Im watching Funny People.

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 23:49:50 -0500

It’s kind of funny I guess.

I can’t pretend like I actually WANT to blog right now.
I am sad.

I am sad quite often, believe me.

A year ago, I couldn’t even begin to imagine ever feeling like this again.

"You know, I’m glad that I’ve finally found the most amazing, perfect, adorable, handsome, nerdy guy..."

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 21:23:37 -0500

“You know, I’m glad that I’ve finally found the most amazing, perfect, adorable, handsome, nerdy guy ever. I had to wait 16 years for it, but it was worth it.”

- I wish you’d let me feel like this again.

Can't expect a beggar not to turn into a thief.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 21:02:05 -0500

I haven’t posted anything in a while. I don’t really like posting stuff on this blog anymore though, I like privacy. I guess this will have to do though, I’ve already got a shit load of Tumblrs for no reason at all. Random bits of my life are scattered amongst various Tumblogs- is that even a word? I feel like it should be some type of Tumblr lingo.

Today was a chilly, sad day. It was freeeeezing this morning when I walked out of the house around 5. Going to the gym before school is awesome, btw. It gives me energy and I don’t have to dread going to the gym after work, which sucks. Getting up at 4:30 every morning can be stressful though. I have my alarm clock time set 10 minutes ahead, haha. It makes me think I slept later than I did, I guess. I’m easily fooled.

Tomorrow is Thursday, which sucks. I don’t have to work though, which is cool I guess. I think I’ll just go home, blaze bowls, and rewrite this bullshit outline/essay/other essay and do all my makeup work for Mr. Conroy. That sounds swell.
Friday, however, I am excited for. I’ve got a few cool things up my sleeve and shit. Gotta handle business, you see? Tiffany, Amanda, and I are doing our Christmas stuff Friday too. I won’t have much stuff for Amandar though, her shit’s in the mail and will be here in 7 buisness days. It’ll be at my house by the time I come home from the mountains though, no doubt. I might even get to see Zack Friday night too, I miss him.

SPEAKING OF THE MOUNTAINS. (side note, I just held down shift and typed all that, why didn’t I use the caps button?) I’m leaving the 24th and coming home the 28th. I have to work the 29th. I’m okay with that. New Years Eve is going to be interesting though, depending on what I do. I’m hoping I can do something similar to what I did last year. :B

I’m really tired, its only like 9. Whatever, I’m going to sleep.

It's really nice out today

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:48:24 -0400

I haven’t actually blogged in a while. I think it’s time to start back up.

Today was really bland, as usual. It seems that all I’ve been doing recently is waking up, going to school, going to work, then going home. Except today, I’m not going to work because my cramps are making me vomit. I wish my mom would just stop being stupid and put me on birth control.

I just found my moms facebook, awkward.

I’m going somewhere now.

Photo

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:58:29 -0400

Just when I thought I couldn't feel anymore,

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:57:59 -0400

I felt.

Thank you SO MUCH

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 11:48:43 -0400

All you’ve done for the past month is make me cry constantly, feel like complete shit, and worry about you not wanting to date me anymore, ever. All you’ve been doing is acting like an asshole and acting like you don’t give a fuck about what we used to have and what we could have had, and you wonder why I cry all the time.

Do you know how much you’ve managed to hurt me in the past 3 or 4 weeks? I don’t think you do. Now rather than me worrying about you not wanting me, I’m worried about me never wanting to see your fucking face ever again.

I swear to god you make me so fucking sad sometimes, but like I said that night

“even though you’ve hurt me so much, I still don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you”

It almost feels like

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 01:12:08 -0400

I am left with nothing, again.

It’s all gone.

So, I have a job now

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:03:05 -0400

I’m currently employed at Brothers Cleaners, and I looooooooooove it. Maybe I like it a little too much. It’s so chill and quiet most of the time, and my managers are cool as FUCK. (and slightly attractive too)

At CEC we never had time to sit or do anything, but now I can just sit down and relax, read a magazine and talk to Chris or Cameron about dumb shit for like 30 minutes before I have to get up again.

Perfecttttttt.

I got a check for 78 bucks today, Lol, which is good, we get paid every week son.

I need to sleep though, woke up at 6, drove all day, bye (:

<3 bright eyes.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 23:34:45 -0400

<3 bright eyes.

Last night I freaked myself out.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:46:51 -0400

Time is not real.

FUCK.

Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again,

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:20:32 -0400

and over, and over, and over, and over, and over.

I fucking hate myself.
I wish
we were cute
like we used to be.
You’re starting to love me less, I can tell. There’s no surprise there, I have bad girlfriend qualities, I forget things, I put shit off, I worry too much then end up messing things up anyway. I remember when you used to tell me I was your everything and you wanted to be with me forever. I remember when we used to cuddle in my room and watch family guy after everyone went to sleep. I remember how for the first time I actually physically felt love, it was amazing. I remember when you told me you loved me, because I was too scared to say it first.

So I’m sitting here, angry, with tears running down my face listening to Iris because that was the song you said reminds you of me, and typing this angry/sad blog.

I wish this wasn’t so hard. I hope you don’t ACTUALLY break up with me over this, that would suck. Now, I’m going to go lay down, I’m going to go to sleep, and I’ll probably sleep until my mom comes in to move me off of her bed.

I love you, Zack, waaaaaay more than you think I do.
If you get mad and want to yell at me you can call me.

Do you remember this?

“Today was a lovely day. We had some time to be alone and get food hang out. We decided to snuggle a bit and enjoy our time together. I’d give anything in the world to be able to be with you like this every day. Even better I’d give anything at all to be like that with you ever single moment. Being with you and just snuggling up or spooning you makes me feel so warm on the inside. The fact that you love being there with me and being so close and just cuddling means so much to me. That feeling we have between each other is just great. I’ve never ever encountered such compatibility and warmth and love between two people in my life. I want to keep these feelings with you. I almost wish I could just bottle up all those feelings that you make me have and save them for another time we are together and just uncork the bottle I stored them in and pour them over us so I can literally feel the love slowly roll out over us. I don’t know why I thought about that but I just wrote was I was thinking. I really don’t ever want to lose the feelings between us. It’s one of the most amazing things. I will for sure remember how you make me feel when we are together like this for the rest of my life. ♥”

Yeah, me too.

"Everything you do is amazing to me and I just want you to know that I’ve never had feelings these..."

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:44:26 -0400

“Everything you do is amazing to me and I just want you to know that I’ve never had feelings these strong for anyone.”

- Zack

Lol.

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 21:56:35 -0400

hannah es tonta (9:55:30 PM): IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN WEST PHILADELPHIA, BORN AND RAISED, ON A PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS, CHILLIN OUT MAXIN AND RELAXIN ALL COOL, AND SHOOTIN SOME B BALL RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL, WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS, THEY WERE UP TO NO GOOD, STARTED MAKIN TROUBLE IN MAH NEIGHBORHOOD, I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT AND MY MOM GOT SCARED AND SAID YOU'RE MOVIN WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL AIR!
I WHISTLED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR THE LICENSE PLATE SAID "FRESH" AND THERE WAS DICE IN THE MIRROR, IF ANYTHING I COULD SAY THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE, BUT I THOUGH, NAH FO GET IT, YO HOME TO BEL AIR!
I PULLED UP TO A HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8 AND I YELLED TO THE CABBIE "YO HOMES SMELL YA LATER" LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE, TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL AIR!
zacksdesktop is offline (9:55:54 PM)

"Everyone you’ve ever met and ever will meet is going to die someday. Along with you."

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 14:13:47 -0400

“Everyone you’ve ever met and ever will meet is going to die someday. Along with you.”